The husband is 11 years older than the wife! What an outrage!

Yes, the title is pure sarcasm. 

How often do you see a couple where the husband is 11 years older than the wife and freak out? I’m guessing it is not something that sends you panicking. Let’s say she is 37, and he is 48. Let’s say she looks younger, but he is in good shape, and he really cares about her. No, he is not rich. It sounds pretty normal to me. Maybe because I actually did date a guy who was exactly 11 years older than me (21-32) and had a great time.

Nina Dobrev (The Vampire Diaries’ Elena/Katherine) is dating Ian Somerhalder (The Vampire Diaries’ Damon). Nina was born in 1989, and Ian in 1978. I think they make a very pretty couple. And they have always seemed to be getting along so well-so who the hell cares?

Awake TV Series image via thinkhero.com.

But I was visiting the IMDB boards of my current favorite TV show Awake, mainly to spread the word about the petition for the show to get a second season, and I saw that a lot of people were freaked out that Jason Isaacs (born in 1963)’ character was paired with Laura Allen’s (born in 1974). These characters have been married a long time, and have a 15-year-old son.

On the left: Laura Allen. In the middle: Jason Isaacs. Image via screenrant.com.

They made Jason’s character a creep, saying Laura’s too young to have a kid at that age. Like people always have babies in their 30s. Like a 19 year-old never hooked up with a 30 year old. Oh wait- Nina was 19 when Ian was 30. And? So what?

Unless a 50 year old guy is courting a 25 year old woman and vice versa, I am cool with it. A lot of women have been known to be attracted to older men. It’s usually because the girl is mature, and she is emotionally the same age as the guy. At least it has always been the case for me. 10-11 seems OK to me as an upper limit, but it is not like if you get along with someone who’s 13 years older/younger than you, you will say no because it is against the rules. After 20, it is just...well...who cares?

Then of course there is the hypothetical situation when a guy as cute and fun as Gerard Butler asked me out (I know - I wish). Gerard is 15 years older than me. Guess what? I wouldn’t say no because he is at that age.

So for a perfectly good show, people are too concerned that he is just too old to be her husband. They make it sound like she is in high school and he is in a retirement home.

People do amaze me sometimes. Yes, I know everyone is entitled to their own opinion. Yes, we are all different and all that. But surely when discussing a show, a show’s plot/characters/acting/direction/premise/episodes.... is a much bigger deal than if the actor and actress’ age difference.

Audiences are hard to please. When people are average-looking, people complain that there is no eye candy. When people are good-looking, they call it unrealistic. I’m guessing that if Jason Isaacs’ character was the same age as the wife, people would think the son was too young or something.

Well, if you have seen the show and/or by looking at the pictures, let me know: 

1)Is Jason’s character too old to be Laura’s character’s husband?

2)Do they really look bad together?

3)What do you think about the age difference between Nina Dobrev and Ian Somerhalder?

Do you really have a type when it comes to attraction, flirting and dating?

I don’t. I’d say that generally I am more drawn to guys who are taller than me and happen to have cute smiles, but that is pretty much all they have in common. Hell, they might not even have the height in common. 

I have been aware of this for a while but it dawned on me once again when a friend decided, based on my recent fascination with The Vampire Diaries’ Paul Wesley’s, looks that she has a clear idea of what my type is. Well, she was in a rush so I didn’t get a chance to show her Ian Somerholder, who plays Paul Wesley’s brother on the show. But apart from playing brother vampires and me finding both of them extremely attractive, they don’t really have anything in common. Oh, then there is also Matthew Davis, who is a guest-star on the same show. He is just gorgeous.

So this is Paul Wesley.

And this is Ian Somerhalder. Do you see a resemblance? I don't...

But I also think the “kid” brother Jeremy (who plays a high school student but is actually 22), played by Steven R.  McQueen, will grow up to be a total hunk (just like his grandfather the late Steve McQueen was). Oh, let’s not forget the cast’s Zach Roerig, who plays Matt and is a total cutie. Then there is his best friend Tyler, played by Michael Trevino. Now, I shouldn’t be finding Michael Trevino attractive if Zach is my type, but I do. I love the fact that Tyler reminds me of Jonathan Rhys Meyers on his good days. Oh, and let’s not forget the guest star Taylor Kinney, who played Tyler’s Uncle Mason for 6 episodes.

Matthew Davis

Steven R. McQueen

Well, so the above examples have all been from The Vampire Diaries- but it does serve the point of this article perfectly. I find the male cast to be extremely attractive, even though they couldn’t have looked like each other less. 

Michael Trevino

Zach Roerig.

Taylor Kinney.

The point is, what attracts you, attracts you. There is no point in making up rules. But don’t get me wrong, I do have rules and a certain type when it comes to personality. I want decent, fun-loving & friendly.  There is no way I am giving up on that. Other than that, I am pretty open to different types when it comes to looks.

Take a look at some other celebrities that I find attractive, to further visualize my point:

*Jon Bon Jovi, Mel Gibson’s youth, Colin Firth, Gerard Butler, Clive Owen, Denzel Washington, Antonio Banderas, Jonathan Rhys Meyers, Keanu Reeves, Paul Walker....

So, boys and girls, do you have a type? Really? I think it is just more fun if you don’t.

Men Want Porn, Women Need Vampires

    Yes, I realize it is a weird title. It doesn’t make it any less true, though. This is basically a word-play on a bestselling book’s title. The book is called Why Men Want Sex and Women Need Love and the moment I saw the book, I was really turned off by how stereotypical it was. I was in fact inspired to write a reverse article – why men need love and women need sex, to point out that both sexes need& want love and sex. We want it both and we hope to find that we can find them in the same person.

But then, as stereotypical as the title was, it is not entirely wrong. Even though sex is a biological need for both parties, women seem to be more fond of associating sex with love. It just sounds better and we really feel like we will get better sex if we are in love. And guys seem to be more obsessed with finding a woman who is good in bed, while women cross their fingers that the guy they fell in love with will be good in bed. Bit of a dilemma, right?

I am not saying you can’t have sex without love or enjoy it if there aren’t mutually intense feelings. But women are typically labeled as the more romantic ones. And well, we do form the majority of the romantic movies’ audience and the readers of romantic escapism books. And while there are certainly girls who enjoy porn, you are far more likely to find porn stuff in a guy’s room than in a girl’s. Go through her computer and DVDs or her movie/TV-watching history or her books, though, and you will run into vampires. It can be that she is more into classic stuff like Bram Stoker or Anne Rice. It could be the Twilight series, it could be the Dracula films. But it is really hard to find a girl who hasn’t enjoyed watching one vampire on the screen. So why the hell are we obssessed?

Playboy Cover. Image via:

repository.wwe.com

Oh sure, just like porn stars and male magazines’ cover girls have the bodies that attract men, the casting/writing for vampires are done with the utmost care: The guys are hot. They have great faces and bodies, intense looks and seductive traits. And even though we get our share of villains, there is always this leading vampire who falls for a human girl and we get this ever-lasting love story, where the guy risks his life to save the girl. It might be cheesy or corny, but as long as the writing and casting can pull it off, us girls are willing to buy it all. The blood and the sex might be drawing men in, but for girls- it is usually the sexy and passionate love story.

Image via: werewolves.com. You see the guys on each side? They are both vampires. The one on the left is played by Ian Somerhalder. The other by Paul Wesley. Yes, girls love them both.

And guys might make fun of it as they want, but frankly, I’d not poke fun if I were them. It is not like they are always watching state of the art films with substance. They can watch as much Nolan or Scorsese or Fincher or whoever they like. There will still be those porn movies we know they love watching for you know what.

So yeah, guys and girls tend to see love and sex differently at times. I propose we leave each other alone with this. They are never going to respect our crush for Boreanaz or Pattinson or Somerhalder. And we never want to catch them at it, especially when they are getting assistance from their “quality” stash.  

But I suppose once in a while, we get series like True Blood, that seems to give both parties what they want at the same time. It is nice to find a vampire thing to watch together. And hey, occasionally, we do end up in relationships where we want similar things.

So guys like porn. Girls like vampires. But we both want the love and the sex after all...