When Age Differences Are OK: Inspired by Perception’s Daniel and Kate

I did two other posts (The husband is 11 years older than the wife! What an outrage, and Older Women dating Younger Men vs. Older Men Dating Younger Women) on this, but the rant back is on.

Because some people refuse to get it. Of course it is completely OK and natural to disagree, but finding it creepy or unlikely seems a bit over the top, since the couple they deem creepy is fictional, have only a 17-year-gap between them and well…we’ll get to the reasons why they make a good match.

Ask any woman whether she’d hook up with a guy she found really hot who was really into her. Let’s suppose he is smart, nice, gorgeous, exciting, interesting, and they have tons in common. And he’s not rich, neither is she.

Now tell her he’s 15 years older than her. And see how many women would say no. I know I wouldn’t.

In high school, we used to joke that Mel Gibson and Richard Gere would be very attractive when they got older. We were wrong about Gibson, but Gere...that man owns the description of aging gracefully.

And it is not to say I go for older guys as a rule or due to some deep Freudian issue. I have liked and found attractive tons of guys who are my age/a couple of years older/a couple of years younger.

Alex Pettyfer in I'm Number Four. Image via scifiscoop.com.

While I was watching I’m Number 4, I couldn’t believe Alex Pettyfer was born in 1990 (making him 6 years younger than me). He looked way older, and oozed a certain appeal baby-faced actors lacked. But winning over in the charm department was Timothy Olyphant, who tends to look younger than his years (despite being born in 1968.)

Timothy Olyphant. Ditch the greys, and he can easily play 30-somethings. Image via michaelmay.blogspot.com.

To me, it doesn’t make sense to complain about age differences within TV/movie pairings They happen quite often in real life too, so it is only art imitating life.

When I say Jon Bon Jovi is hot and some girls disagree with me, it is because they aren’t into blondes. I haven’t heard “Yuck, he is so old/(er).” from another female yet.

The Richard Gere-Winona Ryder pairing in Autumn in New York didn’t work, but it wasn’t because of the age difference. It was because the story was horrible. Besides, cheating on the supposed love of your life don’t belong in romantic dramas. Older or younger.

Now on to Perception, Eric McCormack’s Daniel & Rachael Leigh Cook’s Kate

Apparently some viewers find it “creepy” that Rachael Leigh Cook’s and Eric McCormack’s characters have romantic feelings for each other. OK, what’s not to get? The guy is gorgeous, and I don’t know which 49-year-olds they were looking at, but aside from Dylan McDermott and Tom Cruise, not many look like that! And it’s not just me.

Eric McCormack as Daniel and Rachel Leigh Cook as Rachel.Image via assignmentx.com.

During one recent interview, the male presenter asked McCormack: “Just in what attic is your painting aging?” 

Now, leaving aside from his looks, Daniel Pierce has an adorable style and brains, he is nice, unique and he cracks intricate cases. Kate (Rachel Leigh Cook) used to be his student, so there’s tons of respect/admiration going on. 

It’s about being a match on many levels.

I might very well end up with a 40something that remained single because he didn’t want kids- because I don’t want kids. It’s about what you want in life – and being in the same place.

Kate did date a guy (Jamie Bamber) 10 years younger than Daniel. Also cute, also a professor. He just wasn’t that interesting or attractive to her.

Jamie Bamber as Michael Hathaway.

So it’s all about the relationship feeling good and being fine. Are you both grown enough to know who you are and what you want? Do you like each other? Give it a go. Who the hell cares if there is some age difference?

And P.S. If Daniel Pierce asked me out, I’d jump at it.

So no, the writers aren’t being creepy. Or delusional. Or discriminative. They are just writing the obvious.
  

It might be a cliche that a former student would have a crush on a former professor, but it’d be a lot less believable if she didn’t. Especially if she wants someone unique, and really good-looking.

My Favorite Couples with Age Differences: Movies, TV Shows & Real Life:

(P.P.S The pairings include older women-younger men as well)

• Awake: Jason Isaacs (1963)-Laura Allen (1974)
• Perception: Eric McCormack (1963) – Rachel Leigh Cook (1979)
• *Lie to Me: Tim Roth (1961) – Kelli Williams (1970)

(*Though Roth's and Williams' characters never dated, it was often implied, and sometimes outright stated, that they were in love with each other) 

• The Vampire Diaries:Ian Somerhalder (1978)- Nina Dobrev (1989). They are also dating in real life.
• I Could Never BeYour Woman: Michelle Pfeiffer (1958)-PauL Rudd (1969)
• Bull Durham: Susan Sarandon (1946)- Kevin Costner (1955)
• Missing: *Ashley Judd (1968)- Sean Bean (1959)

(*Ashley Judd’s real life husband is 5 years younger than her.)

• The Island: Ewan McGregor(1971)-Scarlett Johansson (1984)
• *Liam Neeson and whoever you pair him up with. He looks good with any pretty actress you put him next to, probably because he looks great taking every single villain down in the films.

(*Neeson’s real life wife Natasha Richardson was 11 years younger than him, and they were married for 15 years – until she died in 2009.)

…..

The list goes on.

As long as there are on ulterior motives (money, status, career advancement, manipulation…) and no abuse of power/authority, and both sides are of legal age, you should just go with the flow and enjoy it.

But I am not without my own double-standards. I have to draw the line at having a generation in between. And by generation, I mean the age difference shouldn’t really be over 20. Especially after 25, if we are talking about serious relationships, it kind of makes the growing old together concept tricky, don't you think?

Older Women dating Younger Men vs. Older Men Dating Younger Women

This is a subject that has always intrigued me.  When I was younger, I used to think people should date people their own age or people really close to their age. Now, I really couldn’t have cared less. In fact, I am in favor of dating older men (men who are 15 years older than me are OK) . Well, obviously I don’T find any older man attractive. I like a guy who is energetic but also know who he is, what he wants and is sick of playing games with the opposite sex. Plus, I think that men usually mature a little later than women. You might disagree, but all the men I know seem to prove this.

Image via susansarandon.net. Interestingly, she was the older one. I thought Tim always looked older, especially after the white hair thing.

Now, I am not dating younger men either. While it might seem contrary to what I say earlier, I am not against being proven wrong. Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher seem to be working out just fine. Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins dated more than 20 years. Kurt Russell and Goldie Hawn are still together. 

Society strangely still seems to favor men dating younger women. Well, the romantic and the feminist in me couldn’t disagree more. Obviously there is no way I’d approve a 20 year-old dating a 80 year-old, a 10 or 15 year age gap seems trivial if the couple seems to be getting along. Hell maybe even 15-20 won’t matter. But I recently watched a lovely stint on a comedy show:

A husband and wife are really having difficulty getting used to the fact that their son will bring home a girl to meet them. He is in college so they know it is time. However they are shocked when they realize the girlfriend seems a good 15 years older than him. Since this is comedy, they throw around hilarious jokes around, universally reflecting the opinions on age difference:

Dad: Really? Why did you bring your girlfriend’s mother to meet us?

Dad: Are you sure you want more salt? Maybe you want to watch the high pressure?

Dad: Our son is failing history? Why doesn’t he ask you?

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While you laugh your head off, it makes you think. Then the guy’s uncle comes over. He seems to think that this is a prank. He even calls the woman “stale”. But guess what kind of girls the uncle is into? High school girls!  

**

Cougar Town's Courteney Cox with David Arquette. They are separated now, but they got along fabulously for over a decade. He is 7 years her junior.

Another fun example that you might have caught on TV is Courteney Cox’s show Cougar Town. The show is fun and you can read my review on  here. But, to directly talk about our topic: In the show Courtney plays a 40-something-hottie of a single mom. She is newly divorced and nothing is holding back from dating. Although there is one issue: The men her age are either married or they are dating much younger women, including her newly divorced hot neighbor Grayson (Josh Hopkins). And younger men seem to find older women hot and intriguing. So she starts dating younger men. 

Thankfully Hollywood movies seem to carry less double standards nowadays. Did you notice how Michelle Pfeiffer's on-screen romantic partners are get younger as she grows older? 

So I want to know what you think. Would you date someone much younger? Older? Have you ever dated someone younger/older? I once dated a 32-year-old when I was 21 and it was so much fun.

Or what kind of men/women would you break your own rules for?  Yes, celebrity examples count. We need to visualize, right?