Long Distance Relationships vs. Long Distance Friendships: Which One Is Harder?

 

Image via shelovesmagazine.com

It’s funny how long-distance dating is a universally recognized challenge. Everyone has a strong opinion on it. Most of us have either attempted it once, or have supported a friend through their attempts. And hey, I agree. It is a freakin’ hard situation to be in. Because more often than not, one side will be more invested than the other. It almost often ends in tears, and leaves the rest of us swearing off it for good.

But what about long distance friendships? With all the traveling, abroad education and work experience we’ve been getting into all our lives, we make a lot of great friends who live far from us. Some live in other countries, some outright on other continents. Not that living on the far corners of one big country is easy, either. And what about those cities that have more people than most countries?

So how do you go from seeing someone on a regular basis to the obligatory “let’s keep in touch”?

How do you get used to having a really close friend a few doors away or in the same classes to meeting for a couple of times a year? Or just once in a couple of years?

Now, updating each other about our lives had never been easier. We have Facebook, Twitter, Linkedin, e-mail, Skype...And hey, there are also cheap flights and accomodation.

But for every option to connect virtually or in real life, there are numerous setbacks. You might have a friend who detests social networking. You probably have a friend who never has money/time when you do and viceversa. Time and money hardly come together. Then there’s work, friends who actually live closer, romantic relationships, starting families, demanding jobs...

In theory, if you both really care about each other and want to make it work, you will make it work. In reality, even if you are adamant about ensuring your friendship will stand the test of time (and distance), neither of you are prone to crises of one kind of the other.

Oh, don’t get me wrong. I’m so not claiming that I’m perfect.

I’ve been known to nag my abroad friends for not keeping touch online, where I have failed to keep in touch with those who live in the same city.

I’ve been known to complain about how romances change people and some friends just can’t multitask (some people are better friends when they are single- meaning they only seem to have time for two things at a time in life), and yet  I have cheated on many friends with work (-work being writing).

Yet with all our faults and virtues, and despite all the conspiracies and surprises life sends our way, we still manage to be more hopeful about our friendships.

I’ve never heard someone say “Nah, long distance friendships never work,” as opposed to the relationship version of that sentence. Hell, I agree with the relationship version of that sentence.

Funnily enough, two of my now long-distance friends were in a relationship. The guy ended it because he didn’t believe in you-know-what. She was so heart-broken. But guess what? The guy was a lot better at maintaining a long distance friendship than she was.

So here’s the deal: I don’t give up on my friendships without a fight. If they show me that they still care about me, regardless of my location and how often they can physically see me, I do my best to make sure we last.  I’d love to think that the people who left an impression on me won’t give up on me easily either.

I’m still skeptical about long-distance romantic relationships. But friendships?  I guess I just care too much.

How about you? Where do you stand when it comes to long distance relationships – whether its friendship or romance?

20s and Checking for Rings: Dating Has Become Even More Complicated!

Image via lovesites.com.

There was this cute guy in my friends’ circle. Totally my type. Turned out to be married.

Then I met two other cute guys through work circles. Both married.

Saw a cute guy on the bus. As close as you can get to Keanu Reeves in real life. Then I saw it. The Ring!

....

What the ….? When did everyone get married? And I am only 26. Surely the majority of the guys I meet shouldn’t be married???

Dating used to be easier when we were younger. I am not saying it was easy, just easier. All we needed to know was whether the guy we liked a) had a girlfriend b) if not, were we his type?

In our 20s (especially when we are getting closer to 30), we still need the answer to a. But unfortunately, unlike high school where we almost always knew if he was attached, in adult lives it is harder to detect.

Not every guy advertises his relationship status on Facebook. Not every guy uses Facebook. Not every guy mentions his girlfriend when you first meet him. Not every guy wearies a wedding band.

Oh yes, now we have to check for the ring. If he is not wearing any, it doesn’t mean he is not married. Not all married guys start their sentences with “My wife and I….” So before we can even think that guy is our type, we have to check the finger first. If the ring is there, we move on . (The nice and romantic females do, anyway. Some women do dig married men. Though I’ll never know why…).

If the ring isn’t on, and we have friends in common, it takes a little bit of research. I say research, because you can’t go and blatantly ask anyone if he is attached, as it makes it a bit too obvious that you are interested. No need to make things awkward in your social circle. So you use your resources, Google a bit, dig into the social media world. And of course there are still men out there who haven’t mentioned their wives not because it hasn’t come up, but because they are genuinely trying to hide it. So you are just going to have to be a good judge of character and behavior, and if you do notice iffy things, you will need to kick his ass.

Oh boy…not only we need to do research, and pay attention to detail, we might even have to pull a little Patrick Jane on our dates. Remember the cool guy from The Mentalist TV series who can tell all crucial details about a person’s life and personality within a short time of meeting them.

When did dating become even harder? And why do men keep getting married in their mid-20s? What’s up with the baby fever? What happened to enjoying single life, dating and meeting lots of other singles? Dating becomes very challenging if all attractive guys you meet are already taken. Oh well…. Good luck to all of us who want some genuine romance and fun along the way. May we meet some truly single guys that are fun, honest and nice….

Why Is Everyone (Getting) Married?

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    I am not against mariage, let's start with that. It is a lovely concept;  if you have found someone you are sure you would like to spend your lifetime with- someone who you are madly in love with and the person feels the same about you. Someone you can joke around with, be yourself with and someone you love because they are who they are; not despite  who they are.

But I find it really hard to believe that so many people found that person in their early/mid 20s. And that the majority of the married couples in late 20s/early 30s are considering making babies. Whoa! Will everyone slow down for a minute? When did all this happen? I am in my mid 20s and definitely not opposed to romance and passion and some casual flirtation thrown in for good measure... But marriage??? Children??? In-laws??? Calling your partner's parents "Mom" and "Dad"??

I am in the process of finding out a  plan to make my dreams come true, to gain true financial independence  and to just go crazy and all that. I am not saying I don't want to find someone. But right now, I don't want to go into that forever business. Even if  this amazing person comes along and happens to be as nuts as I am and have similar dreams and such, we wouldn't get married. Not now!!! I mean come on!!!!

And it is alright if he doesn't appear in these chapters in my life. Oh of course I complain about being single. But what I am really whining about is that I don't have enough fun with the opposite sex. I don't have numbers to call when I want to party all night and dance until dawn. I don't get to meet hot strangers a lot. There lies my concern.

I think that being in a serious relationship is a big deal! Moving in right away is totally unnecessary and very scary. So how come are people so eager to jump into marriage?

It starts about during the last year(s) of university. Friends/friends of friends start to get married. But the number isn't that large. Then you graduate and invitations start piling up. People barely out of college talk weddings and budgets and all that. You take a job and your boss who is not even 10 years older than you, is married and is considering having a baby. Oh and by boss, I mean a guy who co-runs a music site and deals with studios and bars and all that. I meet long- haired, metal-loving guys who look like they came straight out of a 90s Metallica concert and see rings on their fingers.

When did everyone get married? Ok, so maybe- it is not that big of a stretch for 35 year-olds being married but people in their 20s? What's up with that? The wedding dresses, furniture hunting? Surely not all of these people found their soulmate?

I don't mean to be cynical. I am sure there are a lot of actual feelings and "eternal bliss" involved. But I also believe that the overworking biological clocks and the seeming convenience of marriage have increased the numbers.

People should acknowledge the fact that not everyone has to be married and/or have a baby. It sucks if people are doing it because they think it is time or because they get to have regular sex. It sucks if they are doing it because they parents would rather have them tie the knot than have them live together...

I am a romantic of the worst kind. But I also am addicted to excitement and adventure and discovery. I am thinking there will be guys in my life who get me. Until that happens, I will enjoy the ride of singledom. And I sure as hell won't get married because it is just so "in", or rent is cheaper or all my friends are doing it!!!

Arrogance in the Opposite Sex: Turn on or Turn off?

Image via jasonlove.com

When I was 18, I had a huge crush on a friend’s classmate. It wasn’t that he was earth-shatteringly good-looking. He was just exactly my type. In addition to being tall and cute, he also had this charming, down-to-earth attitude about him that I really liked. He wasn’t full of himself.

Nearly a decade later, a lot of things have changed in my life but my taste in men still remains the same.  Now, I don’t have anything against drop-dead-gorgeous guys. In fact, I welcome them. My problem is with guys – gorgeous or not- who are too in love with how they look. You know the type: the one that makes you want to sing Too Sexy from Right Said Fred.

Remember how that song went? Too sexy for my shirt/too sexy for this party/….

In case you don’t know or remember this hilarious song from the 90s, check out the video.

So I don’t know about you, but arrogance is a major turn-off for me. Mind you, I am not saying confidence. Confidence rocks…unless it makes me want to sing from Right Said Fred…

For instance, my favorite romantic comedy movie character ever is Jack (played by Bill Pullman) in While You Were Sleeping. Jack is nice, honest, fun and good-looking in a classic sort of way. I have always found Bill Pullman cute, charming and handsome but my favorite Pullman character is Jack- both with his looks and character. You see, Jack has flaws; but they only make him more likable. And he is not in lust with himself.

So among all the romantic films I’ve seen, that’s why Pullman’s Jack does it for me. He is just adorable.

If I need to give more fictional examples, I prefer Stefan over Damon (The Vampire Diaries), Matt over Tyler (still Vampire Diaries) and Sam over Dean (Supernatural. Remember the first 2 seasons when Sam was sort of shy?)..I guess you got my point.

But what about you? Does arrogance turn you on? Off? Or you don’t really care?

Who are your favorite arrogant/humble fictional characters?

If Opposites Really Attract, Are You Golden or Just Screwed?

You know how the saying goes: opposites attract. Frankly, I'm allergic to it because I haven't been once been attracted to a guy whose personality is a complete opposite of mine. But many men I am attracted to aren’t attracted to me, but to girls with pretty much they have nothing in common. So if this saying has a point, I am totally screwed.

I’m talkative, energetic, full of-life, a romantic and a dreamer. I am also really passionate and fun-loving. I value honesty and loyalty. So how can I possibly be attracted to a guy who is really quiet, shy and introverted? Or anti-social? Or to a guy who is a total jerk?  Or to a square guy who lacks imagination and passion?

Something New poster via celebritywonder.com

This article was originally inspired by the movie Something New starring Simon Baker. In the movie, Simon Baker’s character Brian pretty much represents everything I want in a guy. Yes, I think Simon always looks great with his wavy blonde hair. And I would pretty much give up heels (I am 5’9”, Simon is 5’10”) for a guy like that. And I talked about how we can be attracted to different looking guys so let’s get to the real issue: personality and how he treats the girl.,

Brian is a landscape architect. He used to be a copywriter at an advertising agency but he hated it. So he is educated but his dreams are more important than fat paychecks. He is smart and independent enough to run his own business. He’s also impulsive, fun-loving, cute, easy-going and social. Add romantic and loyal to the bunch. Yes, Brian is awesome.   

Cut to his love-interest Kenya- who is meticulous, well-planned, who is a workaholic, a little conservative, a little biased, a little racist (she is black, Brian is white). She has a very hard time letting go and she is not always easy to be around. Now, if you want to know what the movie is all about, how they meet and how they hook up and everything, you can read the review here: Something New starring Simon Baker.

But the issue on this post is not romantic comedies, Simon Baker or racism. It is if we are attracted to people who are similar to us or different than us. And I am pretty much like a female Brian. The only difference is that I am a writer. Oh, and I want a romantic, easy-going guy who is not prejudiced about stuff.

Mind you, there will always be differences and things in common. And I am aware of that. What we are talking about is core characteristics and outlook on life.

So if guys’ minds work like Brian’s in real world, I really am screwed. How about you? Tell me your stories about being attracted to guys- how they were similar to or different from you!

Does the Dating Universe Want Us to Be More Specific?

Apparently, it does. Because crossing your fingers to meet a cute guy or hoping that the guy that you like will like you back no longer seems to be enough.

Here’s what I learned so far in my 26 years (of living):

-         * It is not enough for the guy you like to like you back. He has to be single and he has to be a nice person, and a good boyfriend. I covered this in detail in 5 Parameters That Keep Us Single.

-         * And apparently, when you are in your 20s, you have to be more specific than “I hope he doesn’t have a girlfriend”. Well, guess what- he might have a wife! So we need him to be 100% single. No wife, no girlfriend and hopefully, no friends with benefits.

-        * So I like tall guys, standing at 5'9" myself.  And one of the tall guys I ended up dating was...Well, let's just say that as it turned out, he wasn’t getting enough oxygen in his brain. I guess that can be a problem when you are about 6’ 5”. I wonder if this is the reason Jennifer Aniston-Vince Vaughn relationship didn't work?

-         * So after a "tall" disappointment, I said: "OK, height doesn’t really matter that much."
      I was hoping the dating universe would understand and send me a guy with decent brain activity but all I got was a guy closer to my height who was even more of a weirdo than the taller guy when it came to relationships.

-         *  I later asked for a great guy who I had lots in common with, who I’d have a riot with. I found such a guy. He was a great friend, and really good-looking too. Nothing happened.  But I wasn’t his type. Ouch.

.......

Yep, the universe kept misunderstanding me. So  I decided to be more specific. I am sharing what I want with you, and sending the wish out there:

I want a cute, totally single guy who is fun, nice, attractive (to me) and attracted (to me). I also want him to be easy going and have a high level of emotional intelligence. Oh, it would really help if he didn’t have kids. And it would help if he doesn’t really want kids at all. I also need him to be fun-loving, loyal and reliable. I also need him to have the skill of empathy. I want him to be romantic and attentive but not possessive. I want him to like me for who I am. And I need to have mutual sparks flying all over the place!!!

Do you think that was a bit much? Well, sorry. It never served me well when I just asked for a nice guy! So there! I think that’s specific enough.Don't you?

Feel free to be specific in comments :)

Bad Boys Are Way Overrated

Ah, the allure of the term bad boy. It inspired countless stories. And there is also the myth that girls love bad boys.

OK, so it is not exactly a myth. There are many girls who like bad boys. In fact, to my major disappointment, one of my best friends admitted to this fact.

But trust me- there are also many girls out there who think bad boys are way overrated. I should know, I am one of them.

If a guy is an asshole, it is a deal-breaker. He can be the richest and/or sexiest and/or smartest man I have ever met. So what? Nothing matters when the guy doesn’t have the personality it takes to be with me. And what I basically want is a laid-back, easy-going nice guy who doesn’t see picking fights as a hobby.

And by laid-back, I don’t mean lazy or irresponsible. I just mean someone who makes it easy for me to be around him.

I don’t know when people started seeing bad boys as sexy. And movies don’t really count. Seriously. If Timothy Olyphant is playing a badass, and I am finding him attractive, it is because I just like how the guy looks and acts. I am not turned on because he is a jackass. I am turned on because he is Timothy Oylphant.

Tİmothy Olyphant with Jennifer Garner in Catch & Release.

Nice is sexy. I am not saying I’ll fall for any guy who is nice. But come on. Dating is a lot more complicated than that. There has to be an attraction. But let me tell you this much, if I ever liked a guy up to now, it was because I thought he was nice. I was so put off after I learned that the nice boy thing was an act.

And look how Hollywood makes money out of bad boys. They put a misunderstood guy who the audience thinks to be a bad guy but the guy is intrinsically good and he proves it to the audience and the girl he ends up with. Remember Patrick Swayze’s Johnny Castle in Dirty Dancing? Timothy Olyphant’s Fritz in Catch and Release?

So I like good guys, shoot me.  In fact, I have a feeling fewer girls would be single if bad boys were ALL THAT.

Some Essentially Recommended Movie Good Guys

Hugh Dancy’s Grigg in The Jane Austen Book Club

Hugh Dancy’s  Luke Brandon in Confessions of a Shopaholic  

OK, pretty much any Hugh Dancy character is a desirable nice guy, so moving on:

Matthew Macfadyen’s Mr. Darcy – Pride and Prejudice

Colin Firth’s Mark Darcy – Bridget Jones’ Diary, Bridget Jones: Edge of Reason

Lee Pace’s Michael – Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day    

Simon Baker’s Bryan – Something New

Daniel Day Lewis’ Hawkeye – The Last of the Mohicans

**

My list goes on, but you get the idea. Let me know what you like: bad boys or good guys. But even if you like bad boys, can you honestly resist a good guy looking like Simon Baker? I am just saying…

Settling, The Last of the Mohicans and Looking for Who You Really Want

Image via: thematthewbryant.com

Epic/period movies are definitely harmful to any girl’s psychology. Sure, regular romantic comedies do their best to create flawed but loveable male characters that also happen to look really cute. But in (epic) period films, the hero is typically handsome, strong, thoughtful and emotional, romantic, heroic and to add insult to the injury, he is a great lover. The other night, my friend and I made the mistake of watching The Last of the Mohicans. Again. You can watch the trailer here.

The Last of the Mohicans is a great adventure/romance/war flick from 1992. Directed by Michael Mann, starring Daniel Day-Lewis and Madeleine Stowe and rated 7.8 on IMDB, it is by no means a film for just girls. But it leaves the biggest (and worst) impact on girls. You can read the plot and review here, but my first paragraph pretty much explains why Daniel’s Day character is sets an impossible example.

The truth is, we don’t expect a guy to look as gorgeous as Daniel Day does in the film. But that character of his will turn us on anytime. 

Daniel Day-Lewis as Hawkeye.

So the next day, we found ourselves talking about relationships and why we are single. I complained that we are just both unlucky when it comes to attracting the guys we want to attract. But she said, usually everyone is. A majority of people fail to attract the people they truly want, so they settle for whatever they can get. That’s a depressing theory, but she might have a point.

I had mentioned in a previous post that there were 5 parameters that kept us single and those had nothing to do with high expectations.  But I always want mutual attraction. I don’t believe in game-playing. I believe in being open and nice to each other. Technically, I don’t want much. But I am not going to date a guy because I am afraid of being alone or because he likes me. If I don’t like him, I am not going to spend his time or mine.

But when many people settle or date for the sake of dating and not for their actual feelings, the same people expect you to settle as well. If you are single, they try to convince you that there’s something wrong with you. But the truth is, most of the time you are single because you are not afraid to ask for what you want. You do want to feel intensely attracted to someone. You want to feel extreme excitement. 

Yeah, I realize the modern guy won’t be a gorgeous adopted Mohican fighter. But hey, he doesn’t have to fight in actual battles. But he should be able to fight for you. He should be willing to make an effort to be with you and you should do the same. He has to be decent. He should respect the fact that he is not your only option but you choose to be with him- over anyone else.

So no, I am not settling. Because what bothers me is not being single. It is not being with someone I really want to be with. I have nothing against being single. If my option is to settle for less than what I want and/or deserve, I am not going to take it.

We are talking about personal and emotional compatibility, coming with mutual feelings. And I will keep searching for that. Even if I don’t find it, I’ll be proud of myself that I tried. How about you?

Men Want Porn, Women Need Vampires

    Yes, I realize it is a weird title. It doesn’t make it any less true, though. This is basically a word-play on a bestselling book’s title. The book is called Why Men Want Sex and Women Need Love and the moment I saw the book, I was really turned off by how stereotypical it was. I was in fact inspired to write a reverse article – why men need love and women need sex, to point out that both sexes need& want love and sex. We want it both and we hope to find that we can find them in the same person.

But then, as stereotypical as the title was, it is not entirely wrong. Even though sex is a biological need for both parties, women seem to be more fond of associating sex with love. It just sounds better and we really feel like we will get better sex if we are in love. And guys seem to be more obsessed with finding a woman who is good in bed, while women cross their fingers that the guy they fell in love with will be good in bed. Bit of a dilemma, right?

I am not saying you can’t have sex without love or enjoy it if there aren’t mutually intense feelings. But women are typically labeled as the more romantic ones. And well, we do form the majority of the romantic movies’ audience and the readers of romantic escapism books. And while there are certainly girls who enjoy porn, you are far more likely to find porn stuff in a guy’s room than in a girl’s. Go through her computer and DVDs or her movie/TV-watching history or her books, though, and you will run into vampires. It can be that she is more into classic stuff like Bram Stoker or Anne Rice. It could be the Twilight series, it could be the Dracula films. But it is really hard to find a girl who hasn’t enjoyed watching one vampire on the screen. So why the hell are we obssessed?

Playboy Cover. Image via:

repository.wwe.com

Oh sure, just like porn stars and male magazines’ cover girls have the bodies that attract men, the casting/writing for vampires are done with the utmost care: The guys are hot. They have great faces and bodies, intense looks and seductive traits. And even though we get our share of villains, there is always this leading vampire who falls for a human girl and we get this ever-lasting love story, where the guy risks his life to save the girl. It might be cheesy or corny, but as long as the writing and casting can pull it off, us girls are willing to buy it all. The blood and the sex might be drawing men in, but for girls- it is usually the sexy and passionate love story.

Image via: werewolves.com. You see the guys on each side? They are both vampires. The one on the left is played by Ian Somerhalder. The other by Paul Wesley. Yes, girls love them both.

And guys might make fun of it as they want, but frankly, I’d not poke fun if I were them. It is not like they are always watching state of the art films with substance. They can watch as much Nolan or Scorsese or Fincher or whoever they like. There will still be those porn movies we know they love watching for you know what.

So yeah, guys and girls tend to see love and sex differently at times. I propose we leave each other alone with this. They are never going to respect our crush for Boreanaz or Pattinson or Somerhalder. And we never want to catch them at it, especially when they are getting assistance from their “quality” stash.  

But I suppose once in a while, we get series like True Blood, that seems to give both parties what they want at the same time. It is nice to find a vampire thing to watch together. And hey, occasionally, we do end up in relationships where we want similar things.

So guys like porn. Girls like vampires. But we both want the love and the sex after all...

Sluts, Manwhores & One Night Stands

This really might solve the memory loss for the guy but what if she doesn't remember either?

Katherine Heigl’s Abby calls Gerard Butler’s Mike a manwhore in The Ugly Truth. Well, he has a dirty mind, a dirty tongue and he does sleep around a lot. But  manwhore sounds a bit harsh, so I am just going to call Mike a slut. Here's how I define a slut: a person who sleeps around too much, has one night stands all the time and has sex on first date a lot- sluts. Obviously, the girls who do these are regarded as sluts in many countries, no matter how liberated or open-minded they claim to be) maybe with the exception of Scandinavia...) So, if women are going to be called sluts, so should men be.

Gerard Butler as Mike in The Ugly Truth - he is posing with the fun-bag twins (a.k.a the girls he wrestled with in Jell-O). Image via allmoviephoto.com

How did this come up? I was sitting in a bar with friends and chatting with a Scottish mate. He kept entertaining us with all the dirty stories he had (you know, stories that you could catch on Sex and The City or Entourage episodes). It was all really fun and entertaining until I realized he was trying to make himself sound like a victim- like the girls forced themselves on him, that any embarrassing result was due to the girl and all that…

He was entertaining me, until he said he could never really date a girl who slept with him on the night they met. It'd be if he just meant that it may not be a great idea to start something meaningful with a person you just went to bed with. But what he means is how can he possibly date a girl who just slept with him right away? You don't date sluts, do you?

Whoa, what? What kind of a double standard is that? I am not the biggest fan of one night stands, but if a guy is going to consider a girl “not relationship material” because of this, there is something very twisted in his logic. When to sleep with a person is a personal and mutual decision. 

But I know one thing for sure. If she is a slut, so is he. And I kept laughing at his face all night, saying he was sooo slutty and not relationship material. He hadn't looked at it like that before.

Now, I am not taking a moral point of view here, folks. I am just all for equity. What is the point of all this? Well: imagine how awkward (and entertaining for us females) it would be, if a guy met the girl of his dreams and he had sex with her right away. Perfect scenario, right? She is hot, fun and impulsive. But then he realizes she is not returning his calls. And who could blame her? How is she going to know he doesn’t do it with every girl he meets? How is she going to take him seriously? Yep, that was sarcasm...

Every coin has two sides, boys. Just so you remember it..

5 Parameters That Keep Us Single

     When you have been single for a long time, your friends love to treat you like you don’t have a boyfriend because you are looking for The One, a guy looking like your favorite celebrities or some other theory that indicates that you have very high standards for the other party’s looks, personality or both. Well, the thing is, you don’t really have to go after the impossible to remain single. 

Recently I was thinking about how it was a shame that there weren’t many attractive men around. Sure, there are some but finding a guy attractive doesn’t cut it alone. He has to be straight, single and you need to be his type as well. And of course when these come together, you should be into you enough. Otherwise he will just waste your time.

So let’s say you found your straight, single, attractive (to you) and into you, there is another thing you need to have a relationship to work: he has to be a good boyfriend. And by good boyfriend, I don’t mean candles and flowers and all that crap. He just needs to be nice to you, respect you and be able to show he likes you. If the guy is a lousy boyfriend, it won’t cut it if he is the nicest guy on the planet.

So the next time you want to blame something for your being single, you can very well curse the statistics. After all, it is not that easy to find a single, straight, cute guy that attracts you and that you attract. And he also should be a good boyfriend too. Yes, girls. We are screwed.

And boys, don’t raise your eyebrows already! If you are single, chances are you are looking for that single, straight, cute girl who is your type and wants you and isn’t a total psycho in a relationship. Good luck to you too...

I don’t think things work that much differently if you are gay. You need that cute person to be gay or at least bi and the rest is the same.

And if you are bi, maybe you might have a better chance at beating the odds.  

Let me know if you recently met someone who fulfills the 5 parameters and you have my blessing. And wish the rest of us some good luck.